


Reaching new heights

by Anna_banana



Category: The Grand Tour (TV) RPF, Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Bickering, Established Relationship, Humor, Insecurity, Jeremy and Richard argue, M/M, OT3, james is fed up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22088218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anna_banana/pseuds/Anna_banana
Summary: Jeremy and Richard always bicker about the other's height. One day James gets fed up.
Relationships: Jeremy Clarkson/James May, Jeremy Clarkson/Richard Hammond, Jeremy Clarkson/Richard Hammond/James May, Richard Hammond/James May
Kudos: 26





	Reaching new heights

If there is one thing that Jeremy and Richard always feel the need to bicker about it’s height. As much as they would both deny it to anyone who would listen however (as James knows all too well), they’re both actually quite self conscious about their size. Richard sometimes feeling pitifully short next to his two partners and Jeremy, while not quite fat is generally uncomfortable with the fact that all of him is just a bit big. So while neither of them would ever want to say anything too hurtful, although they all often accidentally do, whenever they have any sort of small falling out it often ends up as them both poking fun of the other about their size.

When Richard forgets to close the door and the three come back to find a fridge packed with off food, Jeremy claims it happened on purpose because Richard was mad he couldn’t reach the top shelf. 

The light fitting lies in the main living room, broken. The culprit- a Wii remote that had been smacked into it during an overenthusiastic game of Wii sports- bowling. The only thing that had drawn James eyes away from his book was the loud smash. When he looked at the two men for an explanation, Richard claimed that Jeremy's “big fat head had crashed into it.”

When Richard is late to pick up the kids from school, Jeremy comments that he’s so small he’s started to go back to acting like one. Jeremy goes to the shops one day and forgets two out of the three things he’d been asked to pick up. Richard questions whether he had hit his head on the door while on his way in.

Every single time, James simply lets out a loud sigh and decides to just get on with whatever it is that he’s doing.

-

After years of this behaviour that is now commonplace to them all, it happens to come to a head one day when they are all feeling particularly tense. All three have different jobs to shoot over the next couple of months so they aren’t really going to see much of one another. 

Rather than doing something sensible like talking about it, ‘saying I’ll miss you all,’ or even god forbid- just taking their minds off of it by going out and doing something. Instead they all stalk around the house like caged animals, snapping and snarling at each other as they pass. By the end of the day, despite doing nothing all three are tired. None of them will want to admit it and go to bed however, as that will mean James waking up and leaving first thing in the morning. Finally admitting defeat however, James decides to make some tea, figuring he will go to bed with it. As the kettle boils however he can’t help but overhear Jeremy and Richard bickering once more. Getting irritated, he leaves his mug on the counter and walks through.

“Richard you have a small guy complex, Jeremy stop being jealous you can’t fit in the nice cars we can. Both of you get a grip.”

Both of his partners stare at him with a comically identical raised eyebrows and mouths open in shock. For once, neither of the pair thinks to retaliate with a smart retort and they all just stand there in silence.

“Right then,” Richard finally says.

James and Jeremy both wait for him to go on, but nothing else is said.

“Time for bed then?” Jeremy asks and James can’t recall the last time he could have seen the older man looking sheepish. 

For once, all three agree readily and they head upstairs to enjoy the rest of their time together. 

James’ tea is left lying in the kitchen, forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I wrote about these three. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
